LOVE

4 Lessons the motherhood and the entrepreneurship have taught me

Could it be that two completely different life challenges meet together at some point to serve one big purpose? This question I was asking myself when reflecting on the last two years of my life.

These two challenges appeared within a few months apart in 2018. They both were so big and profound that nothing could compare to them from my previous experience. One challenge was something that was sent to me, I didn’t choose it. The other one I embarked on myself.

So what does my daughter’s rare genetic health condition have in common with my decision to become a financially self-sufficient in other words to become an online business owner?

Seems like nothing in common, right? Each one is big on its own and even could exclude one another, because each one requires a lot of my attention, effort, mental strength, resilience. At one point I was convinced I should prioritise as I was close to a mental burn-out.

~ ~ ~

Now reflecting on the last couple of years I realised that the Universe had designed everything perfectly for me. I just need to learn to trust it no matter how overwhelming it might look at first as behind every challenge lies great lesson I need to learn to fulfil my purpose.

I had another epiphany looking back at the experience I went through. Despite the difference in my challenges they always go in parallel with each other, they both teach me the same thing.

work and patience

PATIENCE

First of all, PATIENCE. I was never good at it. I wanted everything right now or yesterday, even better. If I can’t get it now I lose interest and go to another shiny thing that can promise instant gratification. I am sure, I am not the only one. Most of the people are after instant gratification that is why all sorts of get-rich-quick scams are so popular and people are still falling into that trap.

Creating something sustainable for many years to come and of value to other people requires time. An overnight millionaire is a myth unless you are lucky enough to win a lottery, which is extremely rare and questionable whether it can bring fulfilment.

I keep catching myself on the thought that things are not happening as fast as I want them to. It could be frustrating and draining constantly to be in the state of not-doing-enough or be unsatisfied with the speed you are progressing or be unhappy with where you are now.

What help me to bring myself to the peaceful place where I feel pleased with my progress is to think about where I was a year ago or six months ago, how much I’ve learned since, how do I feel and think about myself now comparing to a year ago. Surely, some people make it happen much quicker than I, but comparing yourself to others is a pointless and losing game. It is better to compare the present self to a year-ago self.

~ ~ ~

If I look at it from the perspective of my daughter’s health condition, oh my... this is where patience is the key. The nature of her diagnosis dictates the developmental delay in all aspects of her life; walking, communicating and what not.

When we found out the diagnosis I was very determined to give her the best possible support to move her development forward. It is a long list of conventional and alternative therapies and approaches that we’ve tried with her. Almost nothing gave us significant results. I’ve experienced the same feeling of not-doing-enough or a feeling of inadequacy and hopelessness.

However, I tend to think about what could have been if we weren’t doing all these special diets, special exercise programs etc. Maybe it would be the same OR maybe things would get worse.

Nevertheless, deep inside I know nothing went wasted, not a single attempt to help her went down the drain. Some positive impact and progress are happening behind the veil, invisible even to my eyes. This is what motivates me to keep going, keep doing, keep searching. PATIENTLY. I know I will never give up on my daughter, I believe in her.

The same way I will never give up on my dream to create a life I want, to be financially self-reliant, geographically and time free, because I believe in myself.

gratitude

GRATITUDE

The second lesson is about GRATITUDE. I’ve written a couple of posts about it already. The state of gratitude became my second nature ironically after the worst thing had happened to me, life-long very complex health condition of my little princess.  I suddenly realised how fragile our life was and how we needed to appreciate the smallest things, like the ability to talk, walk, use hands.

Olivia can’t do anything of that, she never walked or talked, she lost the ability to use her hands purposefully. But generally, she is a happy little girl. She makes us happy with just her cheeky smile.

~ ~ ~

Every day I learn something new while working on my business, whatever seemed like too hard and unachievable some time ago today is my reality. And I am so grateful for having this opportunity to grow academically, spiritually and mentally. I am grateful for the support I get from the community of like-minded people.

COMMUNICATION

This is a big one. If you ask me what would I choose; to have my daughter mobile OR being able to communicate with her. 100% without hesitation I would go for the ability to communicate with Olivia. Although she is growing, getting heavier and things will become more complicated in the future in terms of her mobility the chance of having a meaningful conversation with her is more important and priceless. People with her diagnosis are not intellectually impaired they just can’t control their bodies, so they can communicate given the opportunity to access special education and right tools.

I spent last year trying to find a way to teach Olivia some communication. At the moment it is very basic like identifying her Yes and No, recognising some symbols but it can develop a lot with constant practice and use of a special electronic device. She potentially can become literate. This is my biggest goal. I will be over the moon when she is able to tell me how was her day at school.

To be brutally honest, I am desperate to communicate with Olivia!

~ ~ ~

In terms of my business, a digital marketing that I am studying is an art of communication. Many people would think that it is simply all about how to sell profitably online. However, it is much deeper than that. It goes into human psychology, identifying a person’s pain points, deep desires, fears, decision triggers and matching them with your commercial offer by a right message. Basically, offering the right product to the right audience to solve their problem without being pushy. This is not less than an art, a refined skill of a problem solver.

Skills of getting my message across to my daughter and my audience go hand in hand and teach me different angles of communication.

compassion

COMPASSION

COMPASSION is my fourth lesson. I can’t say this is something new to me. I’ve always have been a compassionate person. However, Olivia teaches me how to be compassionate without feeling sorry or pity for a person. Pity is humiliating. I know it. For me, it is better to stay neutral than feel pity.

Compassion adds a layer of deep understanding of another person’s pain, without any judgement, comparison or presumption.

Being compassionate towards a disabled person is not looking at him/her and thinking “poor him/her, he/she is disabled and can’t do everything what healthy person can do therefore not be able to live a full life”, but looking and deeply respecting the courage and strength that this person lives with every single day. We are all souls in the human bodies and were all sent here on Earth to complete a mission and it is not for us to decide which mission is more valuable.

~ ~ ~

You might think what compassion is to do with an online business... believe it or not, it is an important component. The attempt to change a person’s life for better by offering him a solution to his problem requires a good understanding of that person’s self-talk. Without being compassionate it would be hard to do that. Of course, to some extent. To sell stationery, clothes or kitchen utensils you should know your audience’s “pain”, but only that part where the products you offer would bring ease and satisfaction to everyday life to those particular people.

However, when you offer something that would potentially change the direction of a person’s life is where you need to feel that person’s pain like your own and try to be of help.

You know how many times I asked myself what it would be like to have a normal life like I used to have, healthy kids, 9to5 job. Million times. I was fantasising about it almost every night before falling asleep. It kept bringing me only the bitter realisation that it would never be the same again. I don’t think “what if...” any more. I realised that these four priceless lessons I wouldn’t learn otherwise. Therefore I wouldn’t grow as a human being. I realised what was my purpose in life which perfectly combined my motherhood calling and entrepreneur’s skills.

my mission

 

With much love

Julia

 

4 thoughts on “4 Lessons the motherhood and the entrepreneurship have taught me”

  1. Юлечка, ты супер молодец! Низкий поклон. Ты сильная мама. Очень прочувствовала твой пост ❤🤗🤗 так держать!

  2. Life is a journey that moves like a river with ups and downs and every moment has a lesson, the successes, challenges and the failures are equally important , leave one out and right there you get destabilized. Thanks for sharing this great learning

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